So I won't post the exact design or the exact look that I am going for .... until I have sent them out... but I almost teared up...well let's face it , I did... when I saw these "save the date cards". Nothing quite fit before...too
girly, too classical, too typical, too cute, etc... until I found these on
http://www.etsy.com/ (a totally amazing website for the unique bride or party planner). Basically this artist takes a photo of the couple and uses a pen to draw a
portrait of them and then uses it in a million
different ways. I can not wait to actually find a venue, so that I could set the date, so I could order these cards...
Obviously, as usual, I am a bit backwards... I have hardly decided on a continent , let alone a venue or an exact date ... but I couldn't help myself. It is like when your a kid and you have tons of homework, which is usually a pitiful most students fall into at one point or another, you do the easiest homework first to feel a sense of accomplishment.
Well, I found a couple of venues that are OK online- they are located in PA. Sure there is that little logistical thing... but if the venue is nice , and it looks nice online, it will be far cheaper than those available to me locally. With the savings I will charter a bus to ship over the family and friends... lolol...like cattle to the slaughterhouse...lolol... oh sorry, did I think that? Kind of like that scene in Twilight saga (Stephanie Meyers) when the tourists in Italy are led into the chamber full of hungry Vamps. (tangin)
The biggest concern I have with halls in the US, is that most American venues have really crappy food. Alex and I are big foodies and re-heated chicken a la dry , just won't do. So that is an obstacle I have yet to find a solution for.
I have also thought about the favors... and I thought at first that it is a silly waste of money... and it
probably is. But, if I do end up doing favors I have decided (
preliminarily) to give tulip bulbs. I will order 100 parrot tulips online from
http://www.tulipworld.com/ and they will cost me less than $1 each. Then I thought maybe buy really cheap boxes and nice ribbons and tags with our wedding logo on them and wrap them
nicely. I can also put the instructions and
meaning of the gift on a nice piece of paper inside. A lot of it I can do myself and
probably get away with about $2 a favor in total.
On the locale.. geographically speaking. The reason I am leaning more local than international is because most, if not all, the castles that I even 1/2 liked had such drab interiors that I just couldn't imagine getting married there. If they weren't drab, they were gaudy, and if they weren't gaudy they were Gothic... none of which is me. I really want to have an outdoors ceremony and the exteriors of most these castles are usually one of two things, cold and gigantic landscapes of perfectly manicured lawns and gardens, or unkempt forests and weed (not the smoking kind) gardens with no view. Add a view, intimate not-too-manicured garden with a great castle, good food, and lodging... you have a $300k bill on your hands... not me , not ever.
Although I do have to think about my dad, and that he can't come to America... he has been banned for reason's I just don't have the energy or desire to disclose. And so .. do I want just Alex's family and our mutual friends to be at this wedding? I have always thought about my wedding day with a sense of dread because I fear what kind of emotional baggage I will carry with me when the day rolls around. Will I fall into a depressed hole of self-pity and misery? Will I care that I am orphaned by a living family? Will I be able to ignore the overwhelmingly depressive reality of it all and still enjoy myself? I had asked these questions of myself a few years ago.. at that point I was convinced this whole wedding thing was just much ado about nothing. But , as my friends had warned, once I got engaged and started thinking about all the ways I can make this event "me"... the capitalistic nature, that we Americans have acquired, took over (Case in point, read first few paragraphs of this post!). I thought back then that I would just run on over to city hall, Alex in hand, sign on the dotted line, and skip away happily on an extended vacation around the world... Africa, Asia, Australia... just me and Alex. Even now, typing these thoughts, I think about how great that would be. Just let all this go, "Just say no", hold a short but sweet hoopa ceremony and be done with it. And spend, the years worth of salary, on a trip of a lifetime. In a few years I will be too preoccupied with diapers and mortgages to get away for a month and travel with the love of my life. It is a very tempting thought in deed. But on the other hand I think about me , 10, 15, 20, 40 years from now, looking back on our "wedding day" and being disappointed. Sure , I tell myself, I can always hold a renewing vows ceremony and throw a party when I am financially secure. But are we , middle class, ever really financially secure. Then there will be violin lessons, ping pond, braces, family trips, tutors, mortgages , etc... will we really take the time and money out of our savings to indulge in a romantic gesture usually undertaken by the young? Probably not.
So while I ponder this thought , I force myself to get going and find a venue, a rabbi, a dress, a date! Delusional? Maybe. But when I say I haven't planned anything yet, Yana gives me a look, as if to say "Do you really want to marry him?" and it drives me coco for coco puffs, so Yana, I am planning. =)
On a lighter note.. take a look at this fabulous cake!
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